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Thread: The Work Thread

  1. #291
    Tiny Dancer Drewbie's Avatar
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    I keep thinking about the possibility of taking that job in California. Exciting, but not if there's coffee shits involved. I mean, everyone gets them, but if they warrant a post about them, holy shit!

  2. #292
    Darth Small Macheath's Avatar
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    Everything gets more real when you leave the Midwest. Coffee shits, mortgages, racial tensions, kombucha, drought conditions.

  3. #293
    Senior Member
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    You could try not drinking coffee. Just a thought...

  4. #294

  5. #295
    Darth Small Macheath's Avatar
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    Actual conversation I just had with a German coworker who's visiting right now:

    Thorsten: Hmm, well we have a saying in Germany, I'm not sure it will translate, but: I have seen a horse vomit in front of the apothecary.

    Me: It does not translate.

  6. #296
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    Is he describing president cheeto? Because then it might translate.

  7. #297
    Darth Small Macheath's Avatar
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    Setting: me, my manager, and an Ops coworker, at 7 PM on a Friday night, trying to respond to 3 different things that are all broken. Primarily a patch we need to deploy for the massive Intel bug.

    Ops: We need to deploy to QA first.
    Me: Well, don't. These other guys are working there and you'll fuck them up.
    Ops: But we need to deploy to QA.
    Me: Why?
    Ops: Muni (pronounced Moony; the QA manager) wants to run a whole suite of integration tests.
    Me: Can you tell Muni to sit on a rock?

    Manager and Ops frantically gesture to a phone sitting on the desk.

    Me: I see. Muni is on the phone right now.

    Manager and Ops frantically nod.

    Me: I see.

    I'm lucky I just said "sit on a rock" and not "fuck himself with a can of tuna" or something. I'm in a foul mood.

    In other news I may be seeking a job soon!

  8. #298
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    Even assuming people will perform professionally at all times in the office, it's rude not to make everyone aware of a third party on the phone. I'm glad you kept the tuna can to yourself!

  9. #299
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    Maybe it's just me, but "having a baby" announcements are weird. Got one this morning at work. All I can think is good job successfully blowing your wad inside your wife! Maybe I'm simplifying too much.

  10. #300
    Darth Small Macheath's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Macheath View Post
    I figured people were probably getting fatigued by my personal drama, but yeah, I accepted the counter-counter-offer from Intuit. I'm not super happy to be leaving my cozy little startup, they're cool people and it's been a very fun year, and they fought hard to keep me (which only makes me feel guiltier about it).
    I don't know if I ever gave any actual numbers two years ago, but part of the counter-offer from this startup was roughly 0.5% ownership of the company. That's the part that always made me nervous: salary and benefits were better overall at Intuit, it's hard for a startup to match a big company on those terms... job security should be better, the commute is shorter, everything's more convenient... but that 0.5% stake in the startup -- while worthless until and unless they went public or got bought out -- man, if I hung in there, what might that be worth?

    $450,000 is the answer, apparently.

    Oh well!

    EDIT: I console myself by thinking about taxes, and wondering about the cash/stock split of the buyout offer, and possibly how much of it would be contingent on remaining employed at the new company for another 3 years. The $450k payout might be considerably smaller by the time I got my grubby paws on it, but still... um, stings a bit.
    Last edited by Macheath; 01-20-2018 at 01:23 AM.

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