I just saw *****, and IMHO ............

[nynnja]

I saw Max Payne last weekend. I'd give it 2 out of 10 Valkyrie Demons. Maybe I'm unfamiliar with the back story so I didn't get it or maybe the movie just wasn't good. Crooked cops, evil corporation, conspiracy theory, blah blah blah. And can I mention, "Holy predictable end batman." There were actually specifics of the movie that I learned from reading the info screen on my DVR which I never would have understood from watching the movie.

I spent the last half wondering how I could have better used my time during the first half.

[thumblewort]

I just watched Jackass 2.5 on Netflix streaming and wonder if I'll ever be old enough for this stuff to not make me laugh.......pooping on the dollhouse toilet, priceless. A rattlesnake biting a blown up condom from Steve-O's ass, love it.

[thumblewort]

I just watched New York Ripper on Netflix streaming, and give 7 canoli's outta 10 whatsa a matta with you's. My apologies if you are of Italian heritage. Obviously this is an Italian movie, directed by one of Italy's horror masters, Lucio Fulci, best known for Zombie and The Beyond. This was shot in 1982, the height of the Italian renaissance of extremely voilent horror movies, usually featuring zombies and cannibals. Fulci embraced the slasher genre with NYR, and did it well. The bonus of Italian horror is also the gratuitous use of sex in thier films, and NYR has it's share of puds and northwest baby caves. Sure, there is plot holes galore, but the level of sex and violence makes this a fun romp through New York City. Recommended if you want an 80's slasher turned up a notch!

[thumblewort]

Sam, put the knife down Sam......

I just watched Borderlands on Netflix streaming, and give it 7 bicuspids in a 10 molar mouth. I was sifting through the myriad of streaming movies, and came across this one because of the "After Dark Horrorfest" label, as they make some messed up flicks. I hit play when I saw Sean Astin was in it. Based on a true story (whatever), it is a semi brutal little piece delving in Santeria (mix of voodoo and Catholism), and our trusty Samwise Gamgee plays a creepy ass member of the cult. This was a nice suprise movie on a crappy rainy day.

[thumblewort]

I watched Gut Pile on Netflix streaming. I hate to be too harsh on no-budget movies, but plot holes really irk me. 50 minutes of poor acting, and a nice storyline ruined by inconsistancies. The last straw was that Gut Pile is on a list of the 300 goriest movies - the average CSI episode has more. I enjoyed Ron Bonk's other no-budget movie, " Strawberry Estates", but this one blew goats.

[Drewbie]

I just saw an advance screening of the new Harry Potter movie and I must say that it was pretty good. A grittier movie than I remember the others being and actually quite disturbing and scary at points. I would daresay even a bit risque at one point with imagery of two characters nude and making out used in an attempt to drive a third party crazy.

As with many two-part movies, it ends on quite the downer. Even though I thought it was good, the effect of ending that way just left me almost sad as I left the theater.

I hadn't ever seen a Harry Potter movie in the theater as I'm not that huge a fan. I've read the books and was quite content to wait for the movies on DVD to see them, but this really was very good on the big screen. I plan to see part 2 in theaters as a result.

[thumblewort]

I just saw Thankskilling on Netflix streaming, and IMHO give it a 4 outta 10 plucked feathers. Normally I would love a shot on camcorder flick with a foul (fowl) mouthed turkey puppet, I just think it ran too long. 66 minutes should have been 30 tops, and dammit if your gonna show boobies in the opening scene, keep it consistant through the entire movie. Watching a turkey puppet kill people with half wood is no way to spend an afternoon.

[thumblewort]

I just saw Wrong Turn 2 on Netflix DvD, and give it 8 outta 10 inbred hillbillys. How can you not like a movie that has a totally hot chick cleaved in half before the credits roll. I am guessing that West Virginia doesn't show this in their tourism presentations. Henry Rollins is great in his roll as a host of an apocolyptic reality show. Crazy inbred redneck action ensues, and buckets of blood of lost. Don't watch on a full stomach.

[thumblewort]

Ok, double movie time, since they are related, sorta. I just saw Suicide Club and Noriko's Dinner Table. The most honest thing I can say is that they are 2 very powerful movies, they both are making social commentaries on Japan, and I could watch them 10 more times each, and still go "wut happen"??? NDT is a prequal/sequal, and it surrounds some of the events in Suicide Club. But that's it for similarities, Suicide Club borders on ultra-violence, there is a scene in there with a daikon radish being prepared for dinner that flipped my switch. And a Japanese Ziggy Stardust (Rolly is his real name, look him up) is hard to beat, unless it is by the pre-teen J-pop band Dessert that is all over this movie. SC is horrifying in many ways, but the cultural differences and translation of the subtitles makes the end a bit off.

Noriko's Dinner Table is by the same director, and surrounds the main event in Suicide Club. But outside of 1 scene, it isn't bloody at all. Coming in at 2.39 hours, prepare for a talk fest, and a good one at that. It still ends weird for this gaijing, but there was enough content for me to enjoy.

Soooo, if you are into mass suicide backed by J-pop soundtracks, or talk-a-thon movies feature the rental of families, check these out.

[Drewbie]

I watch "The Departed" this morning. I'm sure you've all heard about it enough to know that it's pretty damned good. Just one question for those of you who have watched it:

When the mobster guy that got shot after Martin Sheen was pushed off the roof was dying, he talks to Leo and says he knew Leo lied, then asked if he knew why he didn't tell anyone. Then he dies. WTF was he talking about? I know the news said he was a cop when they found his body, but the mobsters dismissed that pretty quickly. Was he a cop or was there something else to it? I mean, he did help kill the captain.